A Conversation Between The Future Bride and Her Former Monk Father

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For those of you who don’t know, my father was a Franciscan Monk before my mother gave birth to my older brother, sister, and this little angel. As you can imagine, having a former nun and monk as your parents comes in handy when you’re getting married and need an officiant.

I have always adored my father’s former monk friend who is now a conservative gay Lutheran minister with multiple partners. Perfect fit for an interracial couple’s wedding right in the heart of Los Angeles! We’re like the United Colors of Benetton in our own special way.

After my dad spoke with his friend, he called me to say his friend was more than happy to marry my fiancé and I. And then, the battle began-

Dad: Jeannette, I didn’t want to answer for you guys–

Mom: (Steals the phone and chimes in) Yes he did! Oh yes he did!

Dad: (Shushing mom) Your officiant wanted to know if you’d like him to wear his suit or his vestments on the day of the wedding.

At the same time

Me: Suit          Dad: Vestments

Me: No!           Dad: No!

Dad: Listen! Your mother and I already kept our mouth’s shut when you decided NOT to get married in a church.

Mom: (Steals the phone again) I was fine with it. Whatever you want, Jeannette!

Dad: (Shushing mom) You could at least do this for us.

Mom: (Yelling from the background) He means him!

Me: I’ll ask Brian and see what he wants.

Then, out of no where my father’s sweet monk voice disappears and turns into his super-thick Brooklyn accent.

Dad: You tell your fiancé he better not cross me!

Me: Really Dad, you’re bringing out your Italian Mafia voice over the vestments?

Dad: Yes! (Giggles) I love you!

I hang up and then a text message comes through.

“Vestments! Love Dad”

Onward and upward…with or without the vestments! #bridetobe #weddingplanning #goodstress #feelingloved